Hello my friends, welcome to the next chapter of my crusade against FEAR (note that I’m not saying “against shyness”). I started once again to frequent chat rooms because I now think It’s a great way for me to develop conversational skills, give compliments, flirt and even ask women out without experiencing the slightest trace of paralyzing fear. As I wrote in this forum before, I’m a charismatic, charming, confident and outgoing guy when I sit in front of a keyboard and a monitor and connect to an IRC server. Unfortunately, I’m totally the opposite in real life (but I’m working hard on it!). Last Saturday (27/01/2001) I met online an intelligent, friendly, absolutely cool woman called Veronica, with whom I have lots of common interests, and unless I am much mistaken, her feeling towards me are reciprocal (she sent me three emails in the followings days saying how much she liked me, gave me her phone number and asked for mine, and after I gave it to her she called me first!. By the way, her voice sounds lovely over the phone). Defeating the fear again (because talking to a woman over the phone is a little bit more scary than chatting over the Internet, at least for me) , I asked her for a date (a blind date!) next Saturday and she accepted! So the question is: NOW WHAT? The terms “Anxiety” “Stress” or “Uneasiness” are not strong enough to accurately describe my current state of mind. What to say? How to avoid that awkward silence instants? We already have spent two hours discussing preferences and interests in the chatroom. I have so little experience in small-talk that I’m afraid of screwing things up. And , of course, there is that “physical looks” thing. I’m so eager to experience dating, relationships, intimacy and sex that I care little about how beautiful she might look, but almost surely she has a greater dating experience than mine and can afford the luxury of being picky.
I’m reading over and over again the “Ways that Transform Shyness” chapter in this site and doing so is helping me to cope with my nervousness; also, I “had” to post the account of this experience here: I feel a lot more relaxed now. Please feel free to post your comments, suggestions, shared experiences, etc. and thanks for reading.