Everybody needs people they can relate to

I’ve always been shy and it’s really taking a toll on my life right now. I’ve been divorced for over 2 years now,(her choice to leave), have 3 beautiful daughters, don’t consider myself a bad looking guy, but my problem is loneliness. When I am with my kids, I feel OK, but everybody needs people they can relate to, and I have no people in my life right now that I can call a friend. I have all the classic symptoms of shyness, not a big talker, turn red easily, not good at small talk, thoughts running through my mind but nothing seems to be able to come out, always feel that i’m making the person i’m talking to uncomfortable, etc. I need to know if it is possible to live a normal life like this. When I was married I didn’t have any close friends on the side. Maybe I forgot how to make friends, whatever it is, it sucks. Anyone have any ideas?

1 Comment

  1. Try to be easy on yourself. It does seem that there are two distinct type of people in the world — one which gets their energy from others and seeks out many friendships and a second which gets their energy from being alone and enjoys a few close friendships (at most). Being the second type, I cannot say that I have found a magic solution for making friends except to keep at it, explore yourself — your true nature and interests, be open, and realize that for many people who are shy it takes meeting a lot of people in order to find the few that are compatible and can become close friends.

    In the meantime, keep busy exploring yourself and the world — perhaps even helping others.

    Everyone needs people that they can relate to. It is good that you relate to you daughters.

    Perhaps you can find a bridge from relating to your daughters to relating to another adult with a similar nature and interests — perhaps through activities initially involving your daughters such as school events, hobbies, sports, music, or outdoor activities.

    I have also heard wonderful things about the Parents without Partners organization.

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