I feel incompetent and helpless, but I know that I am skilled enough to perform the job

I just started a job out of college and all of my coworkers seem so energetic and enthusiastic, but I can’t fake enthusiasm. How can I be enthusiastic about doing something that I’m neutral about? Most of them admit that their work is WORK, but they always act happy and talk about crap (people they know, gossip). I have nothing to talk about because I don’t have any friends to talk about. Work is my life for the moment. This is bad because I hate my job right now. I feel incompetent and helpless, but I know that I am skilled enough to perform the job. I just don’t have the people skills to kiss up to people and find out info. If you don’t kiss up to people then you are limited in what you can do. You need “contacts,” recommendations and references from other people just to get ahead in this sh–ty world!!! I hate being shy. It’s the worst feeling in the world. Sometimes I wonder why I was put on this planet. To add to my frustration, my supervisor always is always busy and I can never get help on things that he assigns me -no guidance whatsoever; when I do ask him questions he talks to me in a condescending manner and I feel like strangling him!!!! It’s hard for me to talk about things to people because I am always thinking…it’s like my mind needs to slow down and process things before I know what to say. DAMN SHYNESS! I’D RATHER BE PHYSICALLY DISABLED THAN SHY!!!!

06-14-2001

2 Comments

  1. Your new job sounds like a terrible place to work! You don’t need to put up with that! You are settling for a job that will make you worse, not better. Your boss is rude and not very compassionate, much less not performing his job. He should be there to help you succeed. You might want to report him to his boss.

    The other people, if they are talking about others behind their backs, they will talk about anything you share with them. You are better off not sharing with them anything you don’t want spread around.

    My advice would be to start looking for another job while you are still learning some skills at this job. This job will eat away at your self respect and self esteem if you stay there. It already has. You should be able to look forward to at least your boss being on your side. Set some boundaries for yourself that you will not work in a place where you are disrespected.

    What do you really love to do? If you had all the money in the world, what would you do with your time? That’s a suggestion of what to start looking for. Doing what you love is a way of respecting yourself. You will want to get up in the morning and you are so excited about the subject, it will help keep your shyness at bay when you are talking about it. That’s an excellent way to start making friends. The conversation will be about the job and you may make friends in the process of discussing it–especially if you’re passionate about it. Passion tends to give you courage to speak up.

  2. I know how you feel as I have been in a similar place.What I learned is that comparing myself to others was a way of beating myself up. I am me, they are them. I don’t go for the kiss up approach, I go for more that be the best and do and know more than anyone approach (not always good either).

    Wishing to be disabled instead of shy is hurtful, not helpful. The good thing about shyness is that it is not a disease and it is something that can be worked with. A person who is shy can also be outspoken, friendly, and happy.

    When you get through the part of your life where you do everything to get rid of your shyness, yet there it still is, you are ready to try something else.

    The something else to try is curiosity. When am I shy? When am I not? What stops me from doing what I want? Why is what other people think so important to me? Why was I born into this world and have this shyness — what advantage does it give me in finding my true purpose and happiness? How can I be shy yet still do what I want to do? (because this leads to transformation)

    These are deep questions and it takes time to get there.

    I found that my energy was better used in working on myself instead of hating others because they seemed to have what I thought I wanted.

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