Shyness is acting in what is perceived as your best interest. You are being protected from being hurt emotionally and/or physically. You may feel that you do not need this protection, but part of you feels strongly that it is not safe and that protection is necessary otherwise, other parts of yourself would be free to express themselves.
The shy part is currently the strongest part of you and this can change once safety is created.
Sometimes, behaviors from the past continue until proof exists that is it now safe.
External safety is only part of the issue, we must also feel safe within ourselves.
When you feel safe you do not feel shy.
You are shy only when you do not feel safe. It is important to seek out and create safe environments in order to experience the non-shy parts of yourself. A safe environment is one where you can be completely yourself without fear of judgment or negative consequences.
A safe environment permits you to explore the many parts of yourself as you are much more than your shyness.
Work, school, social activities, family, and some friendships can feel unsafe. If you are afraid of being judged or afraid for any reason, then it is not a safe environment for you.
Some of us have lived in unsafe environments for so long that we do not even recognize that feeling comfortable is natural and possible.
Begin by creating or recognizing one safe environment in your life. Maybe you have a friend with who you can be yourself. Sometimes creating a safe place within ourselves is important in order to protect ourselves from unending self-criticism.
There are many groups and seminars which create safe environments. Check the Resourcespage for suggestions.
Therapy is also one way to create safety in your life. A good therapist creates a completely safe environment in which you are free to explore the many parts of yourself.
Safety can also be created by changing the expectations you have of yourself. Realizing that is OK to have flaws and that you can create success at every moment through self-acceptance are keys to being safe regardless of the circumstances.
Once you create a safe environment in your life, you will see that you are able to be more yourself when you feel safe. You will discover brave, courageous, charming, funny and many other parts of yourself. These parts can be overshadowed by the shy part when you feel unsafe.
Recognizing shyness as an inner guide for creating safety will help you find happiness and your true self.
Please note that creating safety does not mean “playing it safe”, it means the opposite, creating the right situation, frame of mind, friends, or whatever it takes to get you to take one step toward what you would really like to do.