The more I try to get rid of my shyness the stronger it becomes

I have been shy all my life. I have never had a girlfriend nor have I been in love. Everything I do I do alone. I go to movies alone, eat out alone. I want to know that there is more to life then this. That there is hope for me to break free and get rid of my shyness or accept it and live with it. Are there others who feel the way I do? It would help me to know. Then maybe I would not feel like a freak of nature.

1 Comment

  1. There are millions of people like you… doing things alone (or not at all) is a way of life. You ask if one can break free of shyness or can accept it and live with it? Both are true. You can accept the part of you that is shy and at the same time allow non-shy parts of yourself to be free.

    For many of us, there will always be a shy part but that does not mean we can not enjoy life, make friends, be in love, and have fun.

    For me, one step was to discover what I was really afraid of. What was the shy part trying to protect me from? Then, I found ways to feel as safe as I could while still doing what I feared.

    Another step was to deal with the shyness issue from another point of view. Instead of focusing all my attention on trying to get rid of my shyness, I decided to direct my attention to other things that I had never been interested in before such as martial arts, meditation, food (and how it affects my mood and energy level), relationship classes (even though I had no relationship) and anything else I could think of.

    This indirect path helped me the most as I found that the more I tried to get rid of my shyness, the stronger it became.

    The more I was involved with other aspects of life, the more other parts of me were free to express themselves.

    We are more than our shyness.

    One book that can help one understand and accept shyness is “The Highly Sensitive Person” by Elaine Aron.

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