I can chat but not in person!

So what you are saying in you are responsible for your actions, not your feelings is that we should take what makes you shy and “attack” it. Like talking to people. This makes me shy talking to new people. That when I’m in that situation I should just talk to the people near me and forget the consequences. Talking is my main problem. When I go places I’m quiet and alone, but in an internet chat room I’m open and easy to talk to. I think it is because I find a kind of safety from behind the computer. People can’t get as close as they could in real life.

To prove that this is true I’ll tell you something. I meet this girl in a chat room and I found out that she lived only a few miles away from me. So I called her latter that night. I could barely talk to her. I was so nervous. She asked me out and I said yes.

We then planned to meet at a movie. This was all planned but when I got to the movie and saw her, I left right away. She never knew I showed up. I had this feeling of paralysis.

I had seen her but I just couldn’t walk over and say anything to her.

We chatted on the internet together for several months. I never even sent a picture of myself to her.


  1. Yes, you got it — We are responsible for our actions, not our feelings. We can control our actions but we cannot control our feelings. Being able to talk in a chat room means that part of you is talkative and social. When you feel safe, you can be open.

    Consider going to the movie to meet the girl from the chat room a success. She asked you to the movie, you went, saw her, then left. It is important to give yourself credit for going — you could have just stayed home.

    Next time, find a way to make it a little safer so that you can meet the person. Pick a place where both of you will be comfortable and make the meeting for a short time. Would exchanging pictures first make you feel safer? — if so then it would be a good idea.

    Remember we can not control how someone feels about us just as we cannot control how we feel about them — so there is nothing wrong with meeting someone who is not compatible — it happens all the time to everyone.

    The important thing is to keep being social and one day, you will be surprised to find a totally compatible person who loves you for your flaws.

  2. That is not cool dissing a person you’re suppose to meet. Even though you are shy and everything, but no one likes to be stood up. I would hope that you apologize to her afterwards and told her the reason, I use to get real nervous too about meeting people in person. You just have to break that barrier and the more you do it, the more comfortable you’ll be.

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