Only someone who is shy understands the agony, regret, and self-hate lived with daily. At times the pain seems overwhelming and unending. Other times, a glimmer of hope is grasped through fate, faith, realization, imagination, or experience.
What can really ease the pain of shyness?
How would you climb a challenging mountain? First you would establish a plan, select proven tools, evaluate and choose proven ways, follow the plan, monitor progress, and adapt the plan to changing conditions and circumstances. You would hold a vision of success, of what it will be like at the top. Even though you use proven tools and ways, each step is your own — each success a personal triumph.
The same approach works for transforming shyness. What does not work is: inaction; reading old psychology books full of erroneous and negative information; following ineffective ways; having no plan; giving up; waiting to feel confident; comparing yourself to others; ignoring your feelings; not monitoring your progress; and ignoring changing circumstances.
No amount of wrong action will lead to success. Even a minimum amount of right action will ease the pain of shyness.
Shyness Right Action
- Hold a vision of success – of how you and your life will be different
- Make a plan based on proven ways of transforming shyness
- Follow and trust the plan
- Keep a journal to monitor your progress
- Revise the plan to changing circumstances and new experiences
- Acknowledge both your successes and failures (learnings)
- Remain free of needing results you can not control
What are proven ways of transforming shyness? You can learn much from someone who has already climbed the mountain — seek out people who have done what you wish to do. Read current books and follow ideas by authors who know of what they speak. Overcoming Shyness and Social Phobia: A Step-by-Step Guide by Ronald M. Rapee and The Hidden Face of Shyness: Understanding & Overcoming Social Anxiety by Franklin Schneier M.D. and Lawrence Welkowitz PH. D. are excellent self-help choices. Making a plan based on the Principles, Process, Secret, and Ways of transforming shyness here on the Shy and Free site would also be a great start to your personal transformation.
Taking the above 7 steps will ease the pain of shyness because they are based on right action.