Move from wrong to right action

Only someone who is shy understands the agony, regret, and self-hate lived with daily. At times the pain seems overwhelming and unending. Other times, a glimmer of hope is grasped through fate, faith, realization, imagination, or experience.

What can really ease the pain of shyness?

How would you climb a challenging mountain?  First you would establish a plan, select proven tools, evaluate and choose proven ways, follow the plan, monitor progress, and adapt the plan to changing conditions and circumstances.  You would hold a vision of success, of what it will be like at the top. Even though you use proven tools and ways, each step is your own — each success a personal triumph.

The same approach works for transforming shyness.  What does not work is: inaction; reading old psychology books full of erroneous and negative information; following ineffective ways; having no plan; giving up; waiting to feel confident; comparing yourself to others;  ignoring your feelings; not monitoring your progress; and ignoring changing circumstances.

No amount of wrong action will lead to success.  Even a minimum amount of right action will ease the pain of shyness.

Shyness Right Action

  1. Hold a vision of success – of how you and your life will be different
  2. Make a plan based on proven ways of transforming shyness
  3. Follow and trust the plan
  4. Keep a journal to monitor your progress
  5. Revise the plan to changing circumstances and new experiences
  6. Acknowledge both your successes and failures (learnings)
  7. Remain free of needing results you can not control

What are proven ways of transforming shyness?  You can learn much from someone who has already climbed the mountain — seek out people who have done what you wish to do. Read current books and follow ideas by authors who know of what they speak. Overcoming Shyness and Social Phobia: A Step-by-Step Guide by Ronald M. Rapee and The Hidden Face of Shyness: Understanding & Overcoming Social Anxiety by Franklin Schneier M.D. and Lawrence Welkowitz PH. D. are excellent self-help choices.  Making a plan based on the Principles, Process, Secret, and Ways of transforming shyness here on the Shy and Free site would also be a great start to your personal transformation.

Taking the above 7 steps will ease the pain of shyness because they are based on right action.