This picture was painted and given to me by my friend Najat. The art hung in my home for many years. To me it is both beautiful and sad. I was attracted to the painting because it reminded me of myself, the guy who fantasized about women he longed for without knowing what he truly wanted.
I was always attracted to someone I could not have, either because they were in love with someone else or because they did not have the same feelings for me.
I could predict what my dates would say and knew that at some point in the evening they would speak of someone they were still in love with – letting me know I did not stand a chance. On one occasion the girl could not wait to introduce me to her boyfriend who had been away for the summer as to her we were just buddies.
It always was that way, me falling for someone and them not having the same feelings for me.
I can’t explain why, only how things finally changed. I attended a workshop held by a couple who gave relationship advice based on esoteric knowledge which proved to be interesting, mysterious, and full of truth – the kind one can experience for themselves.
One of the exercise was to write down all the qualities you wanted in a partner. This lead to a list headed by wanting mutual attraction and love. The list also contained compassion, empathy, passion, intelligence, beauty, youth and many qualities I recognized as lacking in my previous attempts at forming meaningful relationships. My list contained ten or more qualities I wanted in a partner.
Next there was a ceremony where we read our list in front of the group, to publicly declare what it was we wanted in a relationship.
While I do not pretend to know how the universe works, I can only tell you that a year or so later I met someone, unconnected to anyone in the group, with every one of the qualities I had written. I met her in a small town in another country on a business trip. We spoke casually, met for coffee and on my next trip got to know each other even more. She is my true love, the one I had always dreamed of but perhaps not as clearly as was needed. Publicly declaring what I truly wanted made my dreams come true.
Start with being clear on what you want. When the time is right for you, find a positive and supportive group and publicly declare what it is that you truly want. Next be open to receiving what you have clearly asked of the universe.