Shyness Advice Index

Here is an indexed list of links to all the shyness advice posts and comments.

Accept Shyness?
The more I try to get rid of my shyness the stronger it becomes

Anxiety
Continued action turns worry and anxiousness into self assurance
The *cure* for social anxiety has been found!

Communication
I can chat but not in person!
OK expressing feelings for someone on paper or electronically instead of in person such as love letter?
Too insecure to call him

Consciousness
Shyness and Consciousness

Dating
Blind Date: HELP!
Do you always fall in love with people you can’t get?
I’m growing and some of these layers of self dislike are peeling away
It’s never too late to find love
I’ve dealt a crushing blow to my worst, bitterly hated enemy FEAR
Shy loves Shy
The relationship feels lopsided
What if I kiss the wrong way?
Why is it so hard to just talk to someone I like!?

Definition
Do I have shyness, social anxiety, or social phobia?

Eye Contact
I have trouble with eye contact with everyone

Helping Others
How can I help my shy nephew?
What to do about a shy adult son

Hypnosis
Reprogram the subconscious mind to overcome shyness?

Introductions
Does anyone else have difficulty with introductions?

Making Friends
Everybody needs people they can relate to
Is there an easy way to approach someone or must it always be hard?
Sing for your supper
Why is it so easy for other people to develop companionship?
Would you like to dance? (ever thought of dancing as a way to be more social?)

Motivation
How can I motivate myself consistently enough to make a real difference in my life?
I feel like I’ll never make it through school at the rate I’m going – I will drop out
Look for mentors that make you challenge yourself
My head knows what to do but my heart doesn’t follow
Some improvement but still have problem with procrastinating and sleeping too much

Nice Guy
Why is being a nice guy so unattractive?

Perception of Others
How do I avoid extremely negative feedback?
I am quiet, introverted and people think I’m a snob
I cannot seem to get past the seeming coldness or indifference of strangers and acquaintances
Is shyness a lifetime sentence?
Why is it OK to ask why are you so quiet?

Quick Solutions to Shyness
A Quick Way to Overcome Shyness?

Small Talk
How do I stop feeling awkward and self-conscious with silence?
The dreaded silence…
This “small talk” business is destroying me

Virginity
I am 28 and have never had a girlfriend
When should one tell a female you are attracted to that you are still a virgin?

Why?
Is there a reason for my shyness?

Work
Advice for phone anxiety at work
Keep showing up!
I feel incompetent and helpless, but I know that I am skilled enough to perform the job

Welcome to the Shy and Free™ Shyness Blog

Welcome to the ShyandFree.com positive shyness blog. Many people may benefit from your shared success stories, realizations and insights. You are invited to email ShyandFree with stories or questions you would like to share. As long as they are related to the topic of shyness, you can expect the post and response posted to this blog.

Email Kevin at:

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Posts and comments from Timelessguy and Timelessgal are from ShyandFree’s original bulletin board and form the shyness advice library. This site is not run by therapists or mental health professionals. Please read the full disclaimer.

Loneliness and Shyness

The following articles show that loneliness and shyness are related and that both affect a significant percentage of people worldwide in their personal and work lives. Technology and affluence instead of offering solutions, appear to be contributing to the problem. Clicking on the links under references will take you to their sites and provide some advice for dealing with loneliness and shyness.

According to the 2014-2017 US Surgeon General Vice Admiral Vivek H. Murthy:

“We live in the most technologically connected age in the history of civilization, yet rates of loneliness have doubled since the 1980s. Today, over 40% of adults in America report feeling lonely, and research suggests that the real number may well be higher. Additionally, the number of people who report having a close confidante in their lives has been declining over the past few decades.”

According to  Steve Bressert, Ph.D. :

40 to 60% of adults report being currently shy. Technology and affluence may increase the level of shyness in our culture, explained in terms of greater social isolation, less practice in face-to-face conversations, and avoidance of awkward, unfamiliar, and spontaneous interactions.

According to Saif Farooqi P.h.D.:

Loneliness and shyness have been found to be associated with each other. An individual with loneliness is likely to suffer from shyness or social anxiety; likewise, an individual with shyness or social anxiety is very likely to experience loneliness.

Saif says:

Loneliness and shyness are serious issues that are quite often ignored. Both can be dealt with if individuals having these problems consciously make some minor, yet significant, alterations in their behavior and thought processes. It also becomes a lot easier for lonely and shy individuals if others, in their surroundings, are more aware, caring, and accepting about such issues, and do not see it as something that is trivial.

References

Bressert, S. (2016). Facts About Shyness. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 28, 2017, from https://psychcentral.com/lib/facts-about-shyness/

Farooqi, Saif. (2015, October 22). DEALING WITH LONELINESS AND SHYNESS. Life And Psychology. Retrieved on October 29, 2017, from http://www.lifeandpsychology.com/2015/10/dealing-with-loneliness-and-shyness.html

Murthy, Vivek.  (2017 September). H. WORK AND THE LONELINESS EPIDEMIC. Reducing isolation at work is good for business. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved on October 29, 2017, from https://hbr.org/cover-story/2017/09/work-and-the-loneliness-epidemic

Why we should celebrate shyness: Shrinking Violets a book by the cultural historian Joe Moran

“Shrinking Violets” a book by the cultural historian Joe Moran, which explores shyness in politics, literature and psychology.

From Agatha Christie and Charles Darwin to Keira Knightley, Francoise Hardy and Morrissey, the socially awkward and anxious have changed the world for the better. Have we forgotten the benefits of being shy?

How could someone so successful still be so insecure? This is the paradox at the heart of a new book, Shrinking Violets, by the cultural historian Joe Moran, which explores shyness in politics, literature and psychology. Shyness may seem a trivial matter to those who aren’t afflicted, but as Moran points out, these feelings can even be a matter of life and death.

“One of the mistakes you can make when you are shy is to think that you are very unusual in the way you are interacting with people – but some of these problems are universal.” With Moran as its reluctant, mild-mannered cheerleader, the Shy Pride movement may have just been born.

Reference

Robson, David.(2016, August 31). Why we should celebrate shyness. BBC.Com. http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20160830-why-we-should-celebrate-shyness. Accessed on September 18, 2016.

My Monster or Yours? A Journey about finding meaning and true love

The work in progress book “My Monster or Yours?” is a  journey about finding meaning and true love. Following the ideas of others helped but at some point I was on my own. An idea came to mind that I tried out and it worked. It seemed absurd but I had nothing to loose.

Join me in my new book as I share in fiction form what happened. You may not believe it. Reading about my inner discovery may help you or it may disturb you, there is no way to know.

I look forward to your feedback as this story unfolds on Wattpad.

https://www.wattpad.com/story/83783426-my-monster-or-yours

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