Shyness ruins my chances of landing the job of my dreams

Hi my name is Michelle, I’m 26 yrs. old, and I need help. I’m not too sure if I have some sort of social problem, but I think interviews are frustrating and scary. I think my shyness ruins my chances of landing the job of my dreams.

There are certain people that I can talk to, and I feel comfortable around them, and then there are the ones who are expressionless–those are the ones that make me feel like I’m boring them and wasting their time. Sometimes I know exactly what I want to say, but it comes out totally different and awkward because I’m so nervous. That’s when I feel like people are staring at me like ‘What is she talking about.’ which makes matters worse. Then after the interview I’m thinking–‘I should have said this or that.’

Is there any advice or something I could do to calm down before and during the interview that will help me seem confident and sure about myself? any suggestions are greatly appreciated.


  1. I understand how you feel. I’ve felt that way many times and not just in interviews. What really helps is to practice the interview out loud with yourself or a friend if you like. You need to hear yourself say the words and sentences out loud. Thinking them doesn’t help because shy people need to strengthen the thought/speech connection. Somewhere between your brain and your mouth the words get lost.

    There are general questions you will be asked in every interview. Find out what they are and start practicing saying your answers out loud. The more you practice, the better you will get-honest!!! It helps you remember even when you’re scared.

    I once volunteered to give a public speech at a high school on self esteem.(it was one of the ways I used to help myself get over being shy) As I started to practice what I was going to say out loud, I found I couldn’t even say my own name out loud. I wanted to say “Hi, my name is Diane Schroeder.” I tried for hours before I could even say that sentence. I forced myself to do it. It got easier and easier and the speech went very well.

    Practicing saying your thoughts out loud when you’re alone but pretending you have an audience helps a lot. Like I said, you need to hear yourself say the words out loud.

    You need to strengthen the thought/speech connection. Do it when you’re doing mundane things like cooking or cleaning or brushing a pet. Talk about your chores like you have a TV show and you are the host of a chore show. It’s very effective. You will notice how hard it is-all the more reason you need to practice.

  2. I have found that we tend to be most comfortable around people we are most compatible with, so when possible, use this feeling of comfort as a guide and the feeling of discomfort as sign to watch closely, ask more questions as this may not be the best place/person for you.

    The Job Interview Quiver story best explains what I mean.

    Of course, most people don’t like interviews and there are many skills, techniques, and ideas that can be employed to make the interviewing experience as positive as possible. Perhaps a book on explaining the job interview would help. I’m sure that there is helpful information on job interviewing on the web.

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